So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
