Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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