Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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