i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
