it wasn't lemon gatorade
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
