just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
