the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
