your room smells of hookers.
And success
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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