I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
