The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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