i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I did not marry a roomba.
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