Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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