Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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