Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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