I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
