Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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