oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
