He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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