you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
