Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
