I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
