Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
