between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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