your thong is hanging out like whoa
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
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