Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
