I hate all girls vehemently.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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