I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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