is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
