The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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