I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
