Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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