hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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