I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
