ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
