just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
