Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
