My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
