how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
