Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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