Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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