At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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