If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
