so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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