Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
