Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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