Soap is not a condiment
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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