if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I forget how to act sober
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