Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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