you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
