I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
This girl is more easily done than said...
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
