I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
