i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
